Music and Relaxation

This is such an important part of my life, music! I'm not sure if you ever get caught up into a song that reminds you all the things that have happened to you. I have songs that I can remember from childhood that really speak to me. My mom was a mother who would not allow us to watch television so most of the time we danced around the house and sang to all different types of songs. I find myself many days sitting in the house with the music on and singing out loud or dancing crazy! Music to me is a stress reliever and a relaxation technique for me. I listen to the beat, the words and many songs I take a meaning from. I listen to angry kick someone's ____ music or I will listen to really soothing songs, other times I just want to sing my heart out and sometimes get out a good cry. My favorite place to listen to music is in the car. I feel that when you are in the car you are in your own world. You control the music, your speed, and inadvertently your current and future mood.

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I met a man today who was talking about taking time everyday for yourself. Many people have forgotten how to take time for themselves throughout the day. We have to be teachers, mothers, friends, a wife, a homemaker, a daughter, a sister, a mentor, and that is just the beginning. We as females are expected to fill so many roles throughout our day. Many times we are expected to always be happy, respectful, polite, and caring. Sometimes we want to be mean, say really hurtful and ugly things but most times we are not willing to let people see that side of us. We never feel like we get enough alone time or even any time to just breath throughout the day. We did a meditation exercise. I felt a little taken back at first but then I saw that by sitting, closing your eyes and just breathing that things either sweep out of your mind or rush in. Some people are afraid of the silence while others appreciate quiet. I am one who loves noise (music.) I believe that even though sometimes our lives get really stressful and as humans we really are constantly being driven to do more and push ourselves. My things is that we have to take sometime either in the morning, in the middle of the day or right before bed to clear our thoughts and just relax. I know some think its impossible but I will tell you that I relax when I am in the car driving somewhere and it is so nice. Music is my relaxation. Find what brings you peace.... maybe it is spending time with you friends, a night out with your other half, spending time time with your children, or reading a book. Just remember to cherish every moment of everyday because that might just be the memory that helps us get through the day!

Spring Cleaning Fever

For those of you who know me know that I am a clean freak! For some reason lately I have been slacking which is really upsetting. Last night when I got home from work I had this obsession to clean or really organize things. I stayed up last night until 1 organizing my closet, under the sinks, the blanket closet, my coat closet that is not really for coats, and my dresser drawers. I have made a list of all the things that I want to accomplish throughout the house.
I feel like if I get things organized around the house and outside then my life will seem to be a lot simpler in different areas of my life. It is also funny to see things that I thought were lost but I am able to find them while I am cleaning. I also have tons of crafty things that I was given when russ' grandmother passed away. These crafty things are sitting all over my spare bedroom and it is driving me crazy. Russ bought two big totes so that I could go through the boxes and bags that I was given and decide what things I might be able to use when I become a teacher. I am thrilled to see how organized I can get and to see if being organized really makes me relax or if I stress over where I put things.

A 360 for now

Somethings in life don't seem to come so easy for me. I have a tough time being mean to people or saying how I really feel. I think this is because I am afraid of hurting someones feelings. For some reason this does not pertain to Russ. Although I do not want to be mean sometimes I get so annoyed by the stupid things that he does or does not do that I just want to explode.
Recently he has not been working a lot and has most of the day to sit at home and hangout. I don' t mind that he does this but I hate that he will sit on the computer or watch television all day. You can see what he has done all day because everything that he ate or drank will be around that area. The thing that bothers me the most is that he will sit there all day, with all that stuff, and wait until I get home and say something like "I've been doing stuff all day." I think that this is hilarious. I was unaware that being lazy was actually doing something.
We also have issues because sometimes if I know that he is going to be at home I will leave him a few things that he can do until I get home. Half of the time his excuse for not doing the list is that "I was watching a movie" or " I was playing with the dog." Really I mean a movie does not last all day and I know that he is not going to play with the dog for that long.
We had a really long talk Thursday about how frustrated I have became lately. I teach and work and so everything around the house. I know that I probably started our relationship by taking over and doing everything because he worked so much but I am now realizing that I can't do everything. Back to our talk, we discussed how we never have time to spend with each other and how he gets to go out on the weekend with his friends while I am working. We talked and I really think that this talk really sank in (knock on wood.) This weekend he has been so helpful doing whatever I ask, doing things that he sees needs to get finished, he actually stayed at home even though I had to work late and we actually spent some much needed time together even though I worked all weekend. Sometimes long talks and a few impolite words can get you what you want, maybe not forever but at least for right now!

Russ' B-day and more

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Russ' Surprise b-day turned out great. He drank, and he drank, and he drank some more. You might guess that by the end of the night he was pretty trashed. He was amusing and aggravating at the same time. He has a great time and that is all that matters. We (well Amber and Kayla) got Russ to do the macarena which was hilarious. I am just glad that I was able to keep everything a secret and so was everyone else.
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So my graduation date is getting closer and I am excited. Well I am excited and scared. Since there is a hiring freeze for teacher their is a chance that I am not going to be able to find a job. I am also nervous because I have been going to school my whole life or it at least feels that way. I am not sure that I am going to know what to do with any free time. I know that I have not really been able to have a life outside of school and work but I think too much time may drive me crazy. I also think that I am going to drive Russ crazy during this transition time. I know this sounds silly but I am anxious to see how everything works out and to make sure that I am not going to go crazy with all this free time. Hopefully I will be able to find a job so that I will have something to do with my time.